MRI Reveals Derrick Rose A Pussy

April 11, 2012         
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CHICAGO--An MRI taken on Derrick Rose’s ankle “injury” today revealed the start point guard is a pussy. Rose, who has sat out 23 games this season with various ailments, will continue to sit until his latest boo-boo feels better. “If you look at this MRI image, you can see Derrick Rose’s ankle,” said Dr. Richard Roma, Orthopaedic specialist at Rush University Medical Center. “Now I want you to look at the high ankle area right about…here. See that discoloration along the edge of the Achilles tendon? That’s nothing. It’s a shadow. There’s no structural damage in this goddamn ankle whatsoever. He should get his delicate little ass back in the lineup before his team loses its playoff seeding. Pussy.” Dr. Roma also called Rose’s back injury “psychosomatic” and said it could be treated with "a swift kick in the ass."



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