Perfect Game Wasted On Non-Contract Year

April 24, 2012         
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CHICAGO--White Sox pitcher Phil Humber made history last week when he threw a perfect game against the Seattle Mariners. However, Humber’s jubilance soon turned to despair when he remembered he was in a non-contract year and the perfect game was worthless. “Wow, what a goddamn waste of effort,” Humber said on Monday. “Leave it to me to throw a perfect game in a frigging non-contract year. They have me under control until 2016! I could be dead by then! Or I could get injured, or I could revert back to my regular mediocre self. Either way this game will be a distant memory. Oh well. Anyone want to buy the game ball?”

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