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Australian Rules Football League Studying Ways To Increase Concussions

February 10, 2010           
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MELBOURNE, Australia—Officials from the Australian Football League are studying ways to increase concussions in light of a recent study suggesting that the awesome head injuries are on the decline. Commissioner Andrew Demetriou said the league would use “all its resources” to ensure concussions remain a part of the sport. “This an issue we’re taking very seriously,” Demetriou said on Tuesday. “This is Australian rules football. It's the most violent sport in the world. If we don’t have a lot of concussions, we’re doing something wrong. In the old days, players ran around in circles because they were so dizzy. It was hilarious.” Among the possibilities being explored is to make the players were rock-hard plastic helmets and gain hundreds of pounds.

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