January 7th - Issue 30
Ray Lewis Makes Dramatic, Game-Saving Tackle In New Nestle Crunch Commercial January 28th - Issue 33
Nervous Feds Move Superbowl To Undisclosed Location
Mike Ditka Won’t Shut Up About New Erection
February 3rd - Issue 34
Noam Chomsky Throws Most Depressing Superbowl Party Ever
March 16th - Issue 40
Bill Belichick Forced To Cut Daughter From Cash-Strapped Family
March 31st - Issue 41
Ty Law Demands All Other Cornerbacks Take Pay Cuts
April 27th - Issue 46
Maurice Clarett Warns Chargers Not To Pick Him In Supplemental Draft
May 4th - Issue 47
Archie Manning Asks NFL Defensemen Not To Tackle His Son
June 1st - Issue 51
Gary Barnett Blasts University Of Colorado For Reinstating Him
July 27th - Issue 59
Travis Minor Somehow Moves Down Dolphins Depth Chart
August 3rd - Issue 60
Jeremy Shockey Passes Asshole Torch To Kellen Winslow Jr.
Dolphins Hoping Ricky Williams Gets Tired Of Having Fun
August 10th - Issue 61
Browns Impressed With Winslow’s Yelling Ability
Pat Summerall Predicts Oilers Will Win This Year’s Superbowl
Departure Of Kurt Warner Enables Rams To Start Cursing Again
August 31st - Issue 64
Byron Leftwich: Why Isn’t He Mobile?
Report: Some Americans Not Ready For Some Football
September 7th - Issue 65
Ceiling Advises Deion Sanders To Come Out Of Retirement |
September 14th - Issue 66
Mike Vandergagt Unaware How Close He Is To Getting His Ass Kicked
Chiefs To Use Power Of Positive Thinking To Repair Defense
Septmeber 21st - Issue 67
Dennis Erickson Vows To Eliminate Culture Of Winning From 49ers
October 5th - Issue 69
Joe Gibbs Reminds Struggling Team That He’s Joe Gibbs
NFL Collapses After Nation Suddenly Gets Its Priorities Straight
October 26th - Issue 72
Broncos Rushing Success Attributed To Diving At Defenders Kneecaps
Cowboys Fail To Consider Fantasy Implications Before Making Trade
November 16th - Issue 75
Ex Buckeye: Tressell Arranged Passing Of Salt To Clarett During Team Dinner
November 23rd - Issue 76
Needy Families Turn Down Free Turkeys From Miami Dolphins
Parcells Fighting Urge To Punch Jerry Jones In The Face
December 7th - Issue 78
Referee Forced To Sit Through Fox Promos Before Viewing Replay
Eli Manning Demands Trade To San Diego Chargers
December 14th - Issue 79
NFL To Put Cap On Gayness Of Touchdown Dances
Football Fans Purchase Chunky Soup Just To Shut Donovan McNabb Up
December 28th - 81
Mike Martz Pumps Up Team By Quitting
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