Attention-Starved Dick Cheney Claims He Banged Tiger Woods 1/6/10
WASHINGTON, DC--Former Vice-President Dick Cheney, starved for attention since leaving office in January, told Fox News today that he dated Tiger Woods for a brief period in 2004. The relationship, according to Cheney, was short-lived, but intense.

Freshman On Wrestling Team Assumed There Would Be Chair-Throwing 1/20/10
CARVER, MA--Tommy Branford, 14, a freshman on Carver High School’s wrestling team, has been disappointed so far with his experience, which he described as “boring” and suffering from an appalling lack of chair throwing.