Celtics-Timberwolves Trade Somehow Makes Both Teams Worse

BOSTON--The 7-player trade that occurred between the Boston Celtics and the Minnesota Timberwolves last week is already having a profound effect on both clubs. The Celtics are 1-5 since the deal, while the Timberwolves are 2-3. Neither team appears to have benefited from the trade. In fact, both appear to have gotten considerably worse.

The Celtics, who acquired Wally Szczerbiak as the main part of the deal, haven’t given up hope yet, but some in the organization are surprised at how poorly both clubs are performing.

“This trade hasn’t really had the desired effect for either club,” said Celtics GM Danny Ainge. “It’s ironic, because there was so much debate about who was the winner in the trade and who was the loser. Well, apparently both teams are losers. In fact, both teams are worse off now than they were before. This trade should never have even happened. I guess that’s just the nature of this business, though. Sometimes when you made a horrible trade, it ends up hurting you.”

Ainge unloaded popular shooting guard Ricky Davis in the deal, as well as disgruntled bench players Mark Blount, Marcus Banks and Justin Reed. The two main components, however, were Davis and Szczerbiak, similar players that Ainge believed would benefit from a change of scenery.

“I thought that Ricky was better suited for the Wolves offense, and I thought Wally would work out better here,” said Ainge. “So far I’ve been wrong. Both players have performed adequately but they haven’t really brought anything to the table that’s making their team better. In the long run I’ll probably have to make another deal. Perhaps we can trade Wally. He’s a darn good player, but something tells me he might benefit from a change of scenery.”

It’s not all gloom and doom for the Celtics, however. According to Ainge, there is a silver lining to this deal.

“We got rid of Mark Blount. We got rid of Mark Blount!” he exclaimed. “For those of you in Minnesota who don’t know who Mark Blount is, just think of him as our own, personal Michael Olowokandi – minus the awesome expiring contract. Mark is a unique player for a 7-footer, though. He can drain a baseline jumper like John Havlicek, but he can’t get a rebound if he’s playing one-on-one against Earl Boykins.”

Just two days after the trade, Boston traveled to Minnesota to face the Timberwolves with their newly revamped lineup. They were trounced, and to add insult to injury, each of their former players made key contributions to the victory. Even seldom-used Marcus Banks scored 20 points.

On that night it appeared the Wolves had gotten the best of the deal, but that was before they lost their next 3 games.

“That was a terrific night for us,” said Kevin McHale, who initially felt that both teams would benefit from the trade. “It was really great to see all of our new acquisitions perform so well. Too bad it didn’t last. In fact, we’re sinking pretty fast right now, and so are the Celtics. It’s a wake-up call for me, though. I really thought the trade would work. After unloading Flip Saunders, I guess I just thought I could do no wrong.”

The players involved in the trade are under pressure to perform and make the trade seem worthwhile. Neither Szczerbiak nor Davis is having much of an impact, but it may be too early to give up hope yet.

“It’s still really early in the process,” said Szczerbiak. “Right now we’re not performing well but that’s only because there’s an adjustment period after a trade of this magnitude. To say that the trade wasn’t beneficial to anyone is an overstatement. We won’t be able to measure the ramifications of this deal for a while. One thing I can honestly say, though, after playing with this team for the past week or so, is that the future is most definitely bright – for the rest of the Atlantic conference.”