August 30 , 2007 - Volume 2 Issue 109

               The Brushback 2007 NFC Preview

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NFC North
Minnesota Vikings

                                                                      
Strength:
Can Tavaris Jackson keep the chains moving and keep the ball out of the hands of the opposition? The short answer: yes. The long answer: yes, but only if the opposition is involved in some sort of point-shaving scandal.

Weakness:
The Vikings have a great offensive line and a great defensive line, but they still stink, which debunks the old adage that games are won in the trenches. Apparently they’re won somewhere else, and they should find out where fast.

Question Mark:
Brooks Bollinger is ready to step in if Jackson falters. I’m probably the first person ever to type this sentence, but: they need to protect Tavaris Jackson like he’s the Baby Jesus.

Green Bay Packers

Strength:
It would be a fabulous story if Brett Favre stepped up and won the MVP this season, especially since he has absolutely no chance of doing it.

Weakness:
They lost out on Marshawn Lynch in the draft and instead went with an injured defensive lineman nobody has ever heard of. They would have been better off if they just selected Lynch anyway and let the league sort it out.

Question Mark:
The defense is strong in some areas and weak in other areas, so I expect them to go winless this year.

Detroit Lions

Strength:
Tatum Bell was let go by the Broncos because he couldn’t perform the simple task of running through a gaping hole without dropping the ball. Maybe he’ll do better on the Lions where he won’t be distracted by all that open space.

Weakness:
Jon Kitna should refuse to throw the ball to Calvin Johnson, just to see how long it takes him to go all Terrell Owens on the sideline. Once he does, they can suspend him and try to recoup some of the money they gave him. That’s called working the salary cap.

Question Mark:
It would be cool if the fans staged another anti-Millen march and then the cops fired into the crowd and it turned into one of those Kent State type incidents. The country needs something like that to galvanize it.

  Chicago Bears       

Strength:
Greg Olsen is a speedy tight end who should be able to stretch the field for Rex Grossman. Lets just hope he doesn’t try to talk, because he’s one of those Miami guys who should be seen and not heard, unless he’s howling in pain from a broken leg.

Weakness:
They really laid an egg in the Super Bowl, lending credence to the notion that teams from Chicago don’t play well in warm weather stadiums during odd numbered years at the tail end of the human experiment.

Question Mark:
I heard Brian Urlacher endorses Vitamin Water. Can somebody ask him if that stuff clears pot out of your system? My friend wants to know.

NFC South
Carolina Panthers

Strength:
Jon Beason is a talented prospect at linebacker who can take over if Dan Morgan goes down. In other words, he’s the starting middle linebacker. I think I injured myself just thinking about Dan Morgan.

Weakness:
Jake Delhomme is not getting any younger, which gives him something in common with the rest of the world, but he still thinks he’s a decent quarterback, which completely isolates him from the rest of the world.

Question mark:
DeShaun Foster is poised for a big breakout season. He was poised last year too. He’ll probably be poised again next year. In that sense he’s one of the most poised running backs in the league.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Strength:
Michael Clayton is struggling to regain the form he displayed during his fluke season. The one thing he’s got working in his favor is that defenders are no longer even bothering to cover him, so when he drops a pass he’s in no danger of being leveled.

Weakness:
The spotlight will be on the Bucs offensive line this season. They’re going to have to open up big holes for Cadillac Williams because he’s a bust and busts normally require bigger holes to pick up yards.

Question Mark:
Kevin Carter signed with the Bucs this season because Jon Gruden wants to win, and so does he. What an insane coincidence that these two should cross paths.

Atlanta Falcons

Strength:
The new, improved offense is a big departure from the old offense, which relied on Michael Vick’s athletic ability by hoping the play broke down so he would have to run.

Weakness:
Don’t let John Abraham’s injury history fool you. He’s as durable as they come. He just doesn’t like to rub it in people’s faces.

Question Mark:
As expected, the team is buying into Bobby Petrino’s no-nonsense, tough guy approach. In two years they’ll be buying into some other coach’s laid-back, player-friendly approach. And the circle of life will continue.

New Orleans Saints

Strength:
Now that everything’s back to normal in New Orleans, the Saints will have to find something else to play for. How about the survivors of the thunderstorms in upstate New York? Some of those people still can’t get broadband internet access.

Weakness:
Instead of dancing behind the line of scrimmage, Reggie Bush needs to learn to lower his head and plow forward. He’ll still lose yards, but at least it will be quicker.

Question Mark:
If the Saints don’t win the Super Bowl, they should consider this season a colossal failure. Even if they do win the Super Bowl they should consider it a failure. That’s how you set the bar high for your organization.

NFC East
   Dallas Cowboys  

Strength:  
Marion Barber and Julius Jones will battle it out to see who is more mediocre. Its going to be a spirited battle, but I’m going with Barber because Jones is more crappy than mediocre.                                           

Weakness:
Leonard Davis underachieved while with Arizona, but the Cowboys gave him a $49 million contract anyway. Perhaps they just wanted someone to underachieve on their team, so they could release him as a lesson to the rest of the team not to do that.

Question Marks:
Safety Roy Williams says there’s a real sense of urgency around the team this year. Well, cancel the season then. We have a Super Bowl winner. There’s no point in even playing the games if one team has a sense of urgency.

     Washington Redskins   

Strength:
The challenge for Joe Gibbs this year is to keep himself busy while his assistants coach the team. I suggest reading or doing a crossword puzzle. You have to keep your mind sharp in case the sideline reporter want to interview you before half-time.

Weakness:
Brandon Lloyd needs to be a more productive receiver. Last year he couldn’t even run decoy routes properly. He kept catching the ball by accident.

Question mark:
The good news is there are only four teams in the division so they can’t finish lower than fourth, unless Jason Campbell gets hurt.

New York Giants

Strength:
Tiki Barber is gone from the team but his spirit lives on. That’s why I feel the Giants can still fall short of the playoffs this year.

Weakness:
Tom Coughlin is going to try to be nicer to his players this year. In return they're going to try not to suck so much. Tall order for both parties.

Question Mark:
Which Eli Manning is going to show up for the Giants this year? Probably the only one they have, which is kind of unfortunate.

Philadelphia Eagles

Strength:
The ACL injury could be a blessing in disguise for Donovan McNabb if he hoards all the pain killers and sells them. I sold a bunch to some junior high kids after I broke my collar bone, and ended up buying new rims for my car.

Weakness:
Andy Reid wants to run the ball more this season, which means Westbrook will be marginally involved in the offense for about three weeks. Still, establishing the run in those first few weeks will set up the pass for the rest of the season.

Question Mark:
I have a feeling Jeff Garcia is going to come back and haunt the Eagles this year. I’m never wrong about these things either. Last year I thought Tony Romo’s botched hold would come back to haunt the Cowboys, and they ended up losing that game.

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks

                                                            
Strength:                                                        
Shaun Alexander is a battering ram out there, and the only way to tackle him is to get yourself squared up and hit him low. Either that or just jump on the pile after someone else tackles him. It’s still technically a tackle.

Weakness:
Holmgren should utilize both Seneca Wallace and Matt Hasselbeck simultaneously in his offense. Wallace could take the snap from center and then either run with it, or pitch it to Hasselbeck for a throw. This will confuse the defense because its so stupid.

Question Mark:
I see a Super Bowl in the ‘Hawks future. I also see one in the Rams future, so take that with a grain of salt.

 San Francisco 49ers     

Strength:
Vernon Davis thinks he’s the best tight end in football, but he should accomplish something on the field before making that claim. It’s not enough just to make the most money, although that is pretty awesome.

Weakness:
Frank Gore is an injury waiting to happen. That’s why I always say never draft anyone. It’s too risky.

Question mark:
What is with the lack of pressure on the quarterback? Come on guys. Get in there. Step it up. Click clack. That’s what I’d be saying if I were Mike Nolan. Sometimes you’ve got to be part coach, part psychologist.

St Louis Rams

Strength:
The offensive and defensive lines have been shored up, which is good because games are won and lost in the trenches, just like wars. Also like wars, the games never end and involve depleted uranium.

Weakness:
They lost a couple of white receivers in the offseason and only brought one in to replace them. Unless Marc Bulger or Adam Carriker can convert to wide receiver, this team isn’t going to be worth watching this season.

Question Mark:
The Rams might have a chance to make some noise in the division this year, but it’s not a noise I'd want to hear. I’d rather hear a Daughtry song sung by Nickelback and mixed by P. Diddy.

    Arizona Cardinals         

Strength:
Ken Whisenhunt is switching the defense to the 3-4, which means there are only seven defenders on the field, but the increased spacing makes it easier for them to cover more ground or something.

Weakness:
J.J. Arrington couldn’t break a tackle if he was covered in poisoned tipped spikes. Still, he might find a place on this team as a third down back, provided its third and 27 and they’re trying to improve their field position by negative three yards.

Question Mark:
Whisenhunt won’t be able to elevate this team to contender status, but the fans shouldn’t worry. These things are all cyclical, and he’ll probably be wildly successful with his next team.

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission.                                                                '07 AFC PREVIEW