AUGUSTA, GA--Disappointed with unknown Zach Johnson being crowned Masters champion, PGA officials are giving Tiger Woods one more chance to win the famed tournament by adding a five-hole “special overtime” round to be played on Saturday, April 14th. PGA officials are hoping it will be long enough for Woods to make up a two stroke deficit against Johnson.

“Okay, Tiger, you have one more chance,” said PGA president Bob Whitcomb. “You’ve got five holes to take this guy down. The wind is calm, the weather is sunny, and you just need to go out there and play your game. Blow it this time and there's not much else we can do for you, save for scheduling another five-hole overtime round, which I think we can all agree would be demeaning for everybody involved.”

Whitcomb said that both players had already agreed to play the round.

“Oh yea we have it all straightened out,” he said. “Zach and Tiger are totally excited about it. Well, Tiger is totally excited about it. Zach is kind of lukewarm about it, what with him having already won it and all. So he’s going to be a little temperamental on Saturday, but hey, if he thinks it’s so unfair, he should just win the goddamn overtime. It's as simple as that. Be like Tiger and let your game do the talking, pal.”

Johnson, who had no major victories before Sunday, is the unlikeliest of Masters Champions. He came into the weekend ranked #56, but rose all the way to #15 after the victory. Now comes the real test: a five stroke round with the greatest golfer in the world.

“I thought I had this thing wrapped up the other day,” said Johnson. “But I guess my job isn’t done yet. I still have one more stepped to take. To me, it’s just another challenge. If I win, great. If I lose…wow. Talk about a choke job. I don't think I've ever heard of anybody winning the Masters and then blowing it a week later.”

Tiger will spend the next week preparing himself for the most important five holes of his career. After struggling so badly over the weekend, he is expected to come out Saturday with a chip on his shoulder, eager to reclaim what’s rightfully his.

“This is a big opportunity for me,” Woods said today. “It's a chance for me to reestablish my dominance, and to show, once again, that I perform my best when back's against the wall. Sure I had a lousy weekend. Sure I lost the tournament, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fold my tent and go home. Sorry, but I just don't have that kind of quit in me.”

Woods admitted that it was he who came up with idea for an overtime round to give himself a second chance.

“I was talking to Bob, and we were lamenting the fact that some nobody from nowheresville just took the most prestigious golf trophy in America,” Woods said. “And I mentioned it would be great if we could just play a few more holes. To my surprise, he said that we could. See, sometimes you just have to speak up. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease, especially when the squeaky wheel is me, and the grease is pretty much anything I want.”

Woods also had a message for current champ Johnson.

“Don’t be too upset, Zach. At least now you can escape the possibility of waiting a year and putting that green jacket on Phil Mickelson.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.