AUSTIN, TX--After watching their team’s decisive victory over the Texas Longhorns on Saturday, Ohio State fans realized that the Buckeyes were virtually unbeatable and perfect in every way. Having locked up the 2006 NCAA championship in only the second week of the season, those fans were left to ponder the only question remaining: Who will the Buckeyes beat in 2007?

“Wow, what a showing today. Amazing,” said 20-year-old Keith Fitch, one of 40,000 Ohio State students who made the trip to Austin on Saturday. “Now I’m really tempted to look ahead to next year’s championship. I know we still have the whole 2007 season to get through, but I'm confident we’re going to be there. Yes, I know we also have the whole 2006 season to get through, but that’s just a formality. The only thing I'm worried about this year is winning the title game by too wide a margin and appearing unsportsmanlike.”

The Longhorns saw their 21-game winning streak come to an end in convincing fashion as the Buckeyes, having lost a number of starters to the NFL in the offseason, systematically dismantled them in front of their home fans.

It was a solemn day in Austin, but in Columbus, Ohio it was a day of celebration and a day of looking ahead.

“Yea, go Buckeyes!” yelled Ohio State sophomore Alan Norris, celebrating in the streets of Columbus with other jubilant fans. “It feels so great to be the 2006 National Champions. But we’re not finished yet. We are not satisfied. We are coming back, baby, to repeat in 2007! Re-peat! Re-peat! Re-peat! Oooh, look. A sofa. Anybody got some lighter fluid?”

While the 2006 championship has been decided, the 2007 season looks a bit troublesome for the Buckeyes, especially with the likely departures of Troy Smith and Ted Ginn Jr. to the NFL. However, this year’s team showed it could recover from the loss of nine starters to win a national championship, so most fans aren’t worried.

“The fact that we were able to recover from the loss of nine starters last year and still come back to win the championship proves that we can do the same thing next year,” said Bucki99, a poster on the popular forum. “For most teams, losing guys like Smith and Ginn would be catastrophic, but Tressel will find a way to win it all again. Worst possible scenario: we get to the title game and lose by a close margin. It’s far fetched to even think about that, but if this game has taught us anything, it’s that you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch.”

While Buckeye fans are already celebrating the 2006 championship, the players and coaches are playing it cool, at least on the outside. Coach Tressel, who coached last year’s team to a Fiesta Bowl win over Notre Dame, says the season is still young and anything can happen.

“We haven’t clinched anything. We have won a darn thing yet,” he said. “We’re only 2-0. Yes, we beat an excellent team in convincing fashion, but we still have a lot of challenges ahead of us this season. Just look at our schedule. There are some tough teams on there. When it’s all over, if we’re holding that trophy, then we can celebrate. Until then, let's just act like it’s going to be difficult so we don’t come off as arrogant.”

Despite the fans’ confidence, there are some Division I teams that feel they could beat the Buckeyes in a national title game. Among them: USC and Notre Dame.

“Ohio State is good, and they are ranked number one, but I wouldn’t be crowning them national champions just yet,” said USC coach Pete Carroll. “After all, we’re pretty good this year, too. So is Notre Dame, and possibly even West Virginia. Of course, these are Ohio State fans we’re talking about here, and they just look for reasons to celebrate. If they do win it all this year, I would stay far, far away from Columbus, Ohio. Me? I’m leaving the country. Los Angeles is just too close.”


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  Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.











Buckeye Fans Already Setting Sights On Next Year’s Championship

September 12 , 2006 Volume 2 Issue 60