Say what you want about the Rams, but they must be doing something right if they get the top pick every year.

The Lions had bad pass protection last year. In fairness, a lot of those sacks were Matt Stafford’s fault because he insisted on being the Detroit Lions quarterback.

McCoy is the best defender in the draft. However, have does a concussion problem in that if he gets banged in the head repeatedly he’ll get a concussion.

Mike Shanahan loves quarterbacks. Look for him to stockpile quarterbacks and then name the worst one the starter.

The Chiefs should pay Spiller twice what he's worth since it's an uncapped year. That will show they’re willing to do stupid shit with their money, which will make them an attractive free agent destination.

Some of the best values in the draft are found in the third round. That’s why the Seahawks should take a third rounder here.

The Browns will probably use this pick to shore up their special teams, because if their special teams play slides they won’t be good at anything.

The Raiders will take a lineman here to give JaMarcus Russell more time to throw. They should give him less time. If he has time to throw, he might just do it.

The Bills' new regime is looking to make a big splash in the draft, so don't be surprised if they trade up to the number one spot to take this kid.

Tebow won’t be much of a football player at the NFL level, but drafting him should at least light a fire under their current tight end.

Zane Beadles has been flying under the radar for some time now, but he’s about to become a household name as the worst draft pick in the history of the league.

Joe Haden has a name that would be more fitted to 1950’s baseball. For that reason they should let him rot on the bench for his entire career.

The Niners had terrible protection on the right side of the line last year. Campbell will give them even worse protection, but at a fraction of the price.

The Seahawks need a lot of help on offense. This kid can play three positions badly, unlike the rest of the Seahawks, who can only play one position badly.

Pike has rocketed up draft boards ever since vowing revenge on any teams that pass on him.

The Titans are headed in the right direction but they’re never going to take that next step until they get a rotational defensive lineman with mid-first round talent.

If Tim Tebow is available here, don’t be surprised if the 49ers take him. If he isn’t available here, be very surprised if they take him. That would be insane.

The Steelers could not protect Ben Roethlisberger last year. They should take a page from his bodyguards' book and tell defenders that its Ben’s special night and only girls are allowed in the backfield.

The good thing about this pick is at 19 you can’t really be an all-time bust. The bad thing is he’s going to be a bust.

No matter who the Texans select every year, they always finish around .500. At least with this pick they have a possibility of finishing below .500.

Mays, a hard hitter with no coverage skills, will be a perfect complement to Roy Williams. Together they should lead the league in after-the-touchdown hits.

Alge Crumpler, the Patriots only tight end, is now so fat that he can barely stand up for a few moments without collapsing in a heap. That’s why they'll select a big, strong linebacker who can help pick him up.

This kid was projected to go in the fifth round, but some scouts say he is vastly underrated and is more of a third round choice.

Pass rush is an area of need for the Eagles, but all the good pass rushers are gone now so they should take an offensive lineman to defend against the great pass rushers that have already been taken.

The Ravens committed too many pass interference penalties last year and could use a cornerback who can cover a receiver without knocking his head off. Wilson is an enormous pussy so he should help in that area.

Larry Fitzgerald sort of shit the bed at the end of the season and ruined my fantasy team, so I’m giving the Cards a wide receiver here just to send him a message.

This kid had some character issues in college but that just means he’s a badass and they should draft him.

The Chargers will never win a Super Bowl no matter how hard they try, so they might as well not even bother. This pick signifies them not bothering.

The Jets signed Antonio Cromartie, but I’m not sold on the guy. He’s got too many kids. How’s he going to concentrate on football when he has to drive them all to school every morning?

The Vikings will try to light a fire under Adrian Peterson by drafting a quarterback and showing that even Brett Favre is expendable.

The Colts don’t need a fullback, but we’re at the bottom of the barrel here talent wise and this is more of a process of elimination thing.

This is it, my sleeper pick of the draft: Blair Wait. White. Whatever. He’s a wide receiver