Chiefs Fans’ Crippling Alcoholic Binges Referred To As ‘Tailgating’

KANSAS CITY, MO--Each Sunday during the fall and winter, thousands of Kansas City residents gather in the parking lot of Arrowhead Stadium to engage in an orgy of gluttony and alcoholic consumption. The ravenous, beer-craving hoards would be considered alcoholics by most normal standards, but Chiefs fans don’t hold themselves to normal standards. In fact, many of them refer to their crippling alcoholic binges as “tailgating,” rather than “self destruction.”

“Alcoholism? Who’s an alcoholic?” slurred 33-year-old Jason Freeman, Chiefs season ticket holder. “Just because I’ve been drinking since 8 AM and have already pissed in the parking three times doesn’t mean I’m an alcoholic. It’s called ‘tailgating.’”

“Tailgating” is the act of assembling in a parking lot prior to a sporting event or concert and consuming mass quantities of alcohol and food. Tailgating parties often involve public urination, vomiting, and fisticuffs. But fans say there is a big difference between their get-togethers and actual, clinical alcoholism.

“It’s not alcoholism if it takes place before a football game,” said Gary Marks, 42, who has been attending tailgate parties at Arrowhead stadium for over twenty years. “If it happens in a parking lot, and it's some sort of sporting event or musical performance, it’s not alcoholism. It’s fun. Here, have a beer. Don’t worry. I’ve got 372 more in the back of my truck.”

The parties are fun indeed. Fans sit in lawn chairs and on blankets, and eat barbecued ribs, chicken, hot dogs, and hamburgers. The red and white of the home team is ever present, but the most important ingredient for any tailgating party is booze.

“Oh beer, sweet nectar of life, I love you,” said tailgater Dan Gribowski, as he funneled a large portion of Bud Light down his throat. “More, more more. I need more. Pour it over my head. Ah yes, yes. That’s it. That’s what the doctor ordered. God, I love the Chiefs.”

Gribowski’s brother, Roy, stood by his side, waiting his turn with the funnel.

“Hurry up, man. You’ve had enough. It’s my turn,” he said. “Please, I’m begging you. Give me the funnel before I kill you, you son of a bitch. Jesus Christ, what are you, an alcoholic?”

The morning after a Chiefs game, Arrowhead Stadium workers say the parking lot looks like a war zone. Beer cans and chicken bones litter the pavement, and some cars are still parked in the lot, their owners unconscious in the driver's seat.

Maintenance worker Phil Henkle said that on his first day of work he was “disturbed” by what he saw.

“My God, it was like Vietnam out there,” he said. “Those people passed out in their cars-- holy shit, how much beer can a person drink? They had dried up vomit coming down their shirts. Some even had their pants down. My first inclination was to call the police, but then I decided to just drop these little AA leaflets in their laps. I’m a member myself, and I know alcoholism when I see it. I also know fun when I see it, and wish I was here last night.”

Security personnel for the stadium are responsible for maintaining order before, during and after the games. It is their professionalism, tenacity, and dedication that keep the celebrations under control.

“The other day I confiscated someone's beer because it wasn’t in a plastic cup,” said Steven Emmet, Arrowhead Stadium security guard. “The guy wasn't too happy about it, but what could he say? He was only twelve years old.”

Even inside the stadium the beer flows freely. The extremely high prices do not deter the fans from imbibing thousands of gallons each Sunday. Concession operators say that they average over a $1,000,000 each home game, and they credit the fans’enthusiasm, and alcoholism, for their good fortunes.

“We sell more beer in one Sunday at Arrowhead than every liquor store in the state sells in a week,” said Bill Roeper, regional manager of S & L Concession, which sells Bud, Bud Light, and Coors Lite at Chiefs games. “It’s really quite amazing that human beings can consume this much alcohol and still live. But these people are a different breed. They love their Chiefs, and they love to tailgate. In fact, they’re known for tailgating. Chiefs fans, like all NFL fans, are raging alcoholics, at least on Sundays. The ones who are full-time lushes should come visit us at Kaufman stadium sometime. We’re there 81 times a year, and that’s a lot of booze, if you do the math.”