COLLEGE STATION, TX--19-year-old Darius Mason has become a star hoops player at Texas A & M despite the fact that he had a normal childhood and grew up in a middle class, two parent home. The talented point guard credits his work ethic and unwavering faith in God in helping him overcome the staggering odds.

“When people hear about my upbringing, they’re always pretty surprised,” said Mason, whose father in an accountant and mother is a school teacher. “Most of my peers come from broken families and hardscrabble upbringings and are using basketball to escape from poverty. Not me. I’m kind of an anomaly. For someone like me to become a basketball player is a long shot. I’ve had to work really hard and tried to overcome my pleasant, comfortable childhood.”

If Mason makes it to the NBA, he doesn’t plan on buying his parents a new house or moving them out of their existing neighborhood in the small town of Spring, Texas.

“I’m not buying my parents a house if I get rich. They already have a house,” Mason said. “It’s a nice raised ranch with a big back yard. And they don’t want to move out of my neighborhood anyway. They like it there. There’s nothing to escape from. It’s actually a really happy, quiet neighborhood. Despite all that, I’ve still managed to become a college hoops star. Only in America.”

When Mason was just 10-years-old, his mother was named president of the Spring Homeowners Association. When he was 13 he won a school science fair. At the age of 15, his dad bought a new self-propelled lawnmower. Those experiences helped mold him into the man he is today.

“When I’m out there I think about my family a lot,” he said. “The day I won the science fair, that new lawnmower, how unbelievable shiny and loud it was, everything. Sometimes I just shake my head at how tough it is for someone like me to get where I am today. Hopefully I’ll give hope to other normal, well-adjusted kids out there. You don’t have to be totally fucked up to play organized basketball at a high level.”

Mason’s story has been well chronicled throughout this season. His teammates, coaches and fans are all familiar with his background and marvel at the fact that he has accomplished so much on the basketball court.

“I don’t know how he does it,” said center Tyrese Wright, 18. “I mean, this is a guy who has the same last name as his own mother. What a coincidence, huh? And he’s never witnessed a shooting, or dealt with gang violence or drug dealers. He really took the road less traveled. Me? I took the easy way. I was raised by my grandmother in a one-bedroom home with my 10 siblings.”

While Mason has his admirers in the locker room, the local media has shown a decided lack of interest in his unique back story.

“I did an interview last month with the Fort Worth Star Telegram, and the lady was like ‘Ok, tell me what it’s like to come from the ghettos of Spring, Texas to the national stage of Division I college basketball.’ For some reason I just decided to play along, and I told her it was really special to come from such a tough background and achieve the level of success I have today. She ate it right up, but after a while I felt guilty about lying to her and I told her the truth. She was totally cool with it. She's going to print the story anyway.”

  Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.