DETROIT--During the first round playoff series between the Washington Wizards and the Cleveland Cavaliers, the world was a witness to the awesomeness that is Lebron James. However, in Game 1 against the Detroit Pistons, James was a witness to something he didn’t see against the Washington Wizards: defense. The result was a 22 point performance, including zero points in the second half.

“We were all witnesses to Lebron’s ascent to greatness during the Washington series,” said Pistons coach Flip Saunders. “Now, Lebron is a witness to a team that plays defense. We won’t let one player beat us, no matter how wealthy he is. Lebron, you are now a witness – to the sight, sound, and smell of a multiple defenders suffocating you.”

Saunders and his team have the utmost respect for James but refuse to stand in awe of him, despite his exciting television commercials. To the Pistons, he’s just another talented scorer who needs to be shut down.

“Lebron is tough but he is not a God,” said Tayshaun Prince, who is the main defender assigned to James. “We think he got a little spoiled in the Washington series. They don’t play defense over there. They don’t even pretend to play defense. They just stand around and watch. Here it’s a little different. We’re going to elbow him, we’re going to triple team him, and we’re going to force him to find his teammates, who can’t shoot anyway. On the bright side, Damon Jones does wear some fun jackets.”

After Game 1, James and the Cavaliers made no excuses about the way they played in the 113-86 drubbing. James knows that the road to the finals goes through Detroit and he will have to solve the Pistons stellar defense to advance to the next round.

“It was a tough game for me, that’s for sure,” James told reporters after the game. “The Pistons definitely threw a few wrinkles at me that I wasn’t used to, like trying to defend me and not asking for my autograph during time outs. I’ll have to make some adjustments. It’s a shame, though, because I am a much more God-like player when the opposition is the worst defensive team in the history of basketball. I don’t know why. Just a coincidence I guess.”

James acknowledged that he sometimes has a hard time living up to the expectations and hype that have surrounded him since high school

“Expectations are high for me,” he said. “Every move I make is under the microscope. It doesn’t help that Nike is presenting me as some kind of superhero with these ‘we are all witnesses’ commercials. I mean, I’m not that good. I don’t know if I can ever be that good. I’m just a basketball player. The way they're carrying on, you'd think I actually mattered.”

Game 2 will be played on Tuesday night and James is expecting another difficult, grueling game. The Pistons are also expecting James to rebound and play better than he did on Sunday.

“We’re not taking anything for granted. We know what Lebron can do,” said guard Richard Hamilton. “This guy is one of the best players in basketball. He was amazing the other night when we were triple teaming him. Did you see what a great job he did finding the open man? It was an honor to witness it. It's just unfortunate that the open men were Ira Newble and Larry Hughes. ”

  Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.