FOXBORO--The Jacksonville Jaguars, bitterly disappointed about their upcoming loss against the Patriots, today blamed the officials for the loss, saying they will “hand the game to the Patriots” and “clearly want them to win.”

One player, defensive end Paul Spicer, even called it “the worst officiated game” he will ever see.

“Saturday’s game is going to be a joke,” Spicer said. “Those refs are going to hand the game to the Patriots. My God, what will they be thinking with that phantom holding call in the third quarter? There will be barely any contact on that play.”

Almost to a man, Jaguars players insisted that the league is biased in favor of the Patriots.

“Oh the league definitely wants the Patriots to win,” said defensive end Bobby McCray. “You can tell. Every call goes their way. There are going to be something like five pass interference calls made against us Saturday that are going to be total bullshit. It’s going to be the worst officiating ever! I don’t care if I get fined for saying this, either. I don’t even think I can get fined for it, since the game hasn’t actually happened yet.”

Coach Jack Del Rio says the loss should do nothing to take away what the team accomplished this year, especially since they will actually outplay the Patriots.

“We’re actually going to outplay them. That's the shame of it all,” said Del Rio. “I have to go into that locker room after the game and look those players in the eye and tell them it’s okay, they should be proud of themselves anyway. And you know what? They should. We stood toe to toe with the New England Patriots, we showed what we can do when we play together, and now we have a chance to carry this momentum into…mini-camp, I guess.”

The Jaguars aren’t the first team to complain about the officiating in a game against the Patriots this season. Several teams have complained, and some have gone as far as to say that the referees have been ordered by the commissioner’s office to help the Patriots go undefeated.

League spokesman Greg Aiello called the accusations “ludicrous.”

“It is absolutely ludicrous to suggest that the officials are in any way trying to affect the outcome of the game,” said Aiello. “Nobody is biased for or against anybody. There are bad calls in every game because the officials are human. Plus, the Jaguars have only themselves to blame for Saturday’s loss. Maybe if they spent more time practicing and less time whining about the refs they’d have a better shot.”

Naturally, the feeling in the Patriots locker room was in stark contrast to the one in the Jaguars locker room.

Said quarterback Tom Brady: “We don’t let this kind of talk bother us. We hear it all the time. Personally I think the officiating has been fine this year. In fact, it’s probably been the best since I’ve been in the league. In fact, I’m sending these guys all gold watches when the season’s over. Well, everyone except that dick that called me for delay of game just because I let the play clock run out. He'll pay for that one.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.