MOBILE, AL--Former Gators QB Tim Tebow will appear in an ad for a pro-life advocacy group during next Sunday’s Super Bowl broadcast, a decision drawing strong reactions from both sides of the issue. While many observers believe the Super Bowl is no place for Tebow to express his personal beliefs, Tebow says he’s just trying to get his message across while he’s still famous and people will listen to him. As an evangelical Christian, Tebow believes it to be his personal responsibility to spread the message of Christ to those around him. That message will be more difficult to spread when he begins his NFL career and rapidly fades into obscurity. “Some people say I should keep my mouth shut because my beliefs might be a turn-off to certain teams in certain cities,” Tebow explained. “Wrong. My skills are going to be a turn-off to every team once they see I cannot handle the transition to the NFL. So really this is a no-brainer.I won't be able to spread the Word quite as well when I'm selling real estate.” Tebow won’t be the first successful college quarterback to flame out in the NFL. There have been many before him that couldn’t make the transition and regretted not taking advantage of their fame while they still had a chance. “I thought I was going to be an NFL Hall of Famer, but then it all just came crashing down,” said former Tennessee quarterback Heath Shuler, now a congressman in North Carolina. “So Tim is doing the right thing. Get yourself out there. People care what you have to say right now. And when it all comes crashing down you can pick a party, become a congressman, and pedal your stupid, pointless beliefs to your constituents.” Focus on the Family, the advocacy group paying for the ad, echoed Tebow’s statements and insisted that the ad contained no overt political message and probably won’t be offensive to anyone. “Tim’s at the height of his fame and popularity right now and we have to take advantage of that,” said spokesperson Lisa Anderson. “All he's doing is appearing in an ad that celebrates families. Is that so wrong? At least our ad won’t feature a heavily-photoshopped Danica Patrick skanking it up with a couple of frat boys or a bunch of monkeys throwing shit at each other.” “We have a very simple message here,” she continued. “Family is a good thing, faith is important, homos are going to burn in hell and our president is the anti-Christ.”
Copyright 2010, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
|
Tebow Trying To Get His Message Across While He’s Still Famous |
January 27, 2010 |