SAN ANTONIO--The San Antonio Spurs, ready to defend their 2007 NBA title, will play their last exhibition game Thursday against the Phoenix Suns, and then it's off to Indiana to open the season against the Pacers.

The Spurs have been inconsistent all pre-season and are excited to be playing in some games that count.

“It’s about time,” said guard Tony Parker. “It seems like we’ve been playing these stupid exhibition games forever. I wouldn’t be too worried about the fact that we were a bit inconsistent, though. We were just working out the kinks. Now we are ready to start playing hard. Who’s up first? The Pacers? Oh, well I guess we can play soft for one more game.”

The Spurs raised some eyebrows on Saturday when they were crushed at home by the New Orleans Hornets, 102-78. However, Parker downplayed the loss, calling it merely “a tune up.”

“Yea that was an ugly game, but in the pre-season you’re less concerned about wins and losses than you are about getting ready for the regular season,” he said. “I can assure you that when the playoffs start, we will be a top seed and the Charlotte Hornets will be…well, the Charlotte Hornets. Oh, I’m sorry, did I call them the Charlotte Hornets? I mean to say Charlotte Bobcats. No disrespect to Chris Paul.”

Coach Gregg Popovich admitted to being “a bit concerned” about the team’s lackluster pre-season performance, but said there was still plenty of time to work things out before the playoffs.

“We haven’t exactly covered ourselves in glory these past few weeks,” Popovich said. “There’s just been a lot of inconsistency and sloppy play. If you set that precedent in the preseason, it will carry over into the regular season, and then you’re going to end up as a three seed and you’ll force yourself to break a sweat in order to get to the Finals. That’s the real nightmare scenario for us.”

Popovich did say he would be resting his starters for the final two games of the exhibition season against the Seattle Supersonics and Phoenix Suns.

“Yea, definitely we’re going to rest some guys so we can be at maximum strength when we go to Indiana,” he said. “We’ll use those two games to get some of the young guys a little P.T. and see what they can do for us. In no way am I conceding these games. Anybody who doesn’t put forth a full effort will be banished to the NBDL, where nobody comes to the games the groupies all look like Fabricio Oberto.”

Duncan, entering his 11th season, has more than a little wear and tear on his 31-year-old frame, but the star has no concerns over whether he can endure another marathon NBA season.

“I feel great and I’m always excited when another season is about to get underway,” Duncan said. “I’m really just glad the stupid pre-season is over. It really gets tedious after a while. Actually the regular season gets tedious after a while, too. And the playoffs. The only thing that doesn't get tedious is banging Eva Longoria. Oops. Don't print that.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.