|June 8 , 2010|
Legendary basketball coach John Wooden passed away last week at the age of 99. Here are a few highlights from his storied life and career. Prepare to be inspired!
Once did a 360 tomahawk jam to illustrate to his players that you can accomplish anything if you have a trampoline.
Captivated an audience of youngsters with a story of this decent hamburger he had one time in Tulsa
Actually won six more national titles in the 80’s with the Michigan State Spartans
Coined the phrase “Beer before liquor, never sicker.”
Devised a Pyramid of Failure and taught it to opposing teams
Never once called a time out during a game because he felt that in life there are no time outs
Threw a chair across the floor at a referee so he could have a comfortable place to sit
Finished Grand Theft Auto IV without stealing a single car or harming anyone
Despite being a devout Christian, thought the Christian rock band Jars of Clay was pretty gay
Eerily predicted in 1995 that he would someday die
As a child, was relentlessly tormented by bullies for not having a 7-Point Creed
Was one of the game’s first trash talkers when he told Kentucky players their shoes were not tied in the appropriate way
Made a guest appearance on NWA's 2006 remix of “A Bitch is a Bitch”
On his death bed, admitted to stealing his famous “10 Commandments” from the Bible
Is currently penning a new book, Oh Shit, There's No Heaven.
His last words were something about effort and teamwork or whatever
Despite his humble demeanor, secretly thought his cock should be engraved on Mount Rushmore
Copyright 2010, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
John Wooden Career Highlights