BOSTON--Former Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas, infuriated about his recent trade to the Cleveland Cavaliers, got the ultimate revenge on team president Danny Ainge on Tuesday when he sent Ainge an email spoiling the finale of Game of Thrones. Ainge reportedly had not seen the episode and had warned everyone around him not to talk about it in his presence.

“Wow, that was wrong, man," said one Celtics player, who asked not to be identified. "Danny hadn't even seen the episode yet and I.T. ruined for him. I know he's upset but you've gotta handle it like a professional, dude. You can't lash out like this. I mean, it's the season finale! This is like a terrorist attack. I'm kind of afraid of him now.”

In an interview with Adrian Wojnarowski, Thomas boasted about his “ambush.”

“I knew that asshole hadn’t watched it yet. He’s always DVR’ing shit and watching it weeks later while expecting everyone around him to keep quiet about it,” said Thomas. “So I sent him an email with a quick summary of everything that happened in the finale. Of course I had to be clever about it because I knew the second he saw it was about Game of Thrones he would stop reading. I had to kind of ambush him. Check this out.”

Thomas then produced a copy of the email which read as follows.

“Hey Danny. I hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to thank you for all the years of LITTLEFINGER GOT KILLED A ZOMBIE DRAGON BURNED DOWN THE WALL JON AND DANY FUCKED. Happy watching, bitch. IT.”

“It felt good to do that,” said Thomas. “Knowing Danny, he probably had a whole night planned out where he was going to turn off his phone, turn out the lights, make himself some popcorn, have a Snapple or whatever, turn out the lights and soak in the finale. Well, there goes that plan. Perhaps he'll think twice next time he trades the heart and soul of the franchise. Oh, does this seem cruel? Sorry. As you know, this can be a difficult business sometimes and you really shouldn't take it personally.”

Ainge, a renowned Game of Thrones aficionado, is notoriously obsessive about the show and has been known to sequester himself from internet and TV coverage to shield himself from spoilers. According to friends, he won’t even watch trailers or read episode descriptions, making Thomas' act of revenge all the sweeter.

“This is kind of like his Achilles’ heel,” said Thomas. “It's like the worst thing you can do to him. Part of me almost feels a little bad about it, but it's not like he can’t still enjoy the episode. He still gets to watch that dragon melt the wall, plus all the other stuff I mentioned, plus that weird scene where the guy with no dick punches some other guy to death for whatever reason. I didn't even mention it in the email because after seven seasons watching the show, I don't even know that guy's name.”

Ainge has yet to comment on the devastating spoiler, but people close with the team say he is taking it in stride.

“He’s handling it about as good as one would expect,” said a source close to the team. “One thing about Danny is that he understands this can be an unpleasant business at times and he doesn’t let that rattle him. He also understands that you occasionally have to make painful sacrifices for the good of the franchise. In this case, he had to sacrifice his best player, a great draft pick, a very tall rookie, Jae Crowder, and the collective goodwill of everybody who roots for the Celtics to get Kyrie Irving, a person who thinks the earth is flat and refuses to play defense.”

“I’ll say this, though,” he added, “Danny has balls. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Kinda like when Jon Snow went against all his supporters and bent the knee to that broad with the dragons. You know, uh...what's her face. Wait…what? She’s his aunt? Was I supposed to know this? Oh, fuck this stupid show.” 

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Pissed-Off Isaiah Thomas Ruins Game of Thrones Ending For Danny Ainge

September 1, 2017        
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