ORLANDO--Just hours after acquiring him in a trade from the Detroit Pistons, the Orlando Magic have given up on former first round draft pick Darko Milicic and have sent him to the Chicago Bulls for a second round pick and cash. Magic assistant GM Otis Smith called Milicic “a good kid who just wasn’t working out.”
“We brought Darko in here and gave him a chance to succeed and, ultimately, he did not succeed,” said Smith. “In the few hours that he was here he looked disinterested, out of shape, gaunt, and a bit intimidated. We feel that a change of scenery would benefit him greatly. I think once he gets out of Orlando you're going to see him reach his full potenential.”
The Magic acquired Milicic because they felt the 20-year-old had great upside. However, soon after the trade was completed, it was clear that the marriage between Darko and the Magic was a doomed one.
“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” said Smith. “This kid is a player, I truly believe that. He was wonderful – absolutely wonderful – in Croatia or Turino or wherever he played in Europe. He still has a chance to be a star in this league. However it won’t be with us, or the Pistons, and probably not the Bulls either, once they look in his eyes and see that deer-in-the-headlights look.”
The Pistons received a first round pick and Kelvin Cato for Milicic, and finally admitted that the selection of Milicic with the second round pick was a mistake.
“I can certainly admit at this point that we made a bad pick,” said Joe Dumars, who passed up on Denver star Carmelo Anthony to get Milicic. “He’s a nice kid but he was not going to contribute to this team. Obviously if I had a time machine I would go back and select Carmelo Anthony, or even Dwyane Wade or Chris Bosh, but time travel is impossible unless you can travel faster than the speed of light in some kind of space ship that won't disintigrate from all the heat. Yes, I looked it up.”
When Milicic learned about the trade to Orlando he felt he was finally getting his big break. Hours later, however, the Magic informed him that they were shopping him, and just moments after that he was told that he was a member of the Chicago Bulls.
“What an emotional roller coaster ride this has been!” said Darko. “First, they tell me I’m going to Orlando, and I’m thinking ‘Sun, surf, babes, and maybe even some playing time.’ So I’m really happy, right? Then that Smith guy brought me into his office and told me I was being shopped around. I was so disappointed, but that’s how this league is sometimes. You can never count on staying in the same place forever. Still, I’m going to miss Orlando. Perhaps I’ll take out a big ad in the local paper thanking the community for supporting me while I was here this morning.”
Before sending Milicic away forever, Smith thanked him for his service with the team.
“I just shook his hand and thanked him for being a professional on and off the court during his time here,” said Smith. “We certainly enjoyed having him be a part of this team and this community. He just wasn’t the right fit for us. We took a risk and it didn’t work out. But hey, at least we have Carlos Arroyo now. Nobody ever expected him to be a decent player, and he’s not, so at least you can’t call him a bust.”
Copyright 2006, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission.
Copyright 2005, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.
Magic Give Up On Milicic, Trade Him To Bulls
|February 16 , 2006 Volume 2 Issue 30|