Kevin Brown To Sit Out Entire Season As Precautionary Measure

NEW YORK--Kevin Brown, Yankees right-hander, will sit out the entire 2004 season as a precautionary measure. The injury-prone 39-year old said the decision was made in conjunction with team officials, who decided it was too risky to have the pitcher actually pitch.

“It was a hard decision, that’s for sure,” said Brown, from his home in Scottsdale, AZ. “We really had to weigh the pros and cons. One the one hand, I could probably help the team more if I actually played. On the other hand, playing increases my chances of injury. I’m not about to get a career threatening shoulder injury right after I come to a new team. That’s not the way I want to start off.”

Brown, who joined the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1998, has been on the disabled list six times since signing his 105 million-dollar deal. He had elbow surgery in 2001, followed by back surgery in 2002. He was able to rebound somewhat last year, posting a 14-9 mark and a 2.39 ERA. Still, questions linger about the veteran’s ability to dominate like he did in the past.

“Am I concerned about my health? Absolutely,” said Brown. “I’d be lying if I said I was completely confident in my ability to pitch effectively. I still think I have it, but there are always doubts lingering. By sitting out the season I’m preserving my body, getting some much-needed rest, and preventing another surgery--unless something freaky happens, like I hurt myself playing basketball.”

Manager Joe Torre and GM Brian Cashman huddled with Brown earlier this month to get a read on how his shoulder was holding up. While Brown insisted it was fine, all three men decided to act “with an abundance of caution” in regards to righty’s health.

“Sure, we could march [Brown] out there on Day 1 and let him throw some gas, but that’s pretty risky,” said Torre. “What Kevin needs is a full season with our training staff to strengthen his arm and make sure he doesn’t suffer another debilitating injury. By 2005, we should have a pretty good read on where he’s at, health-wise. And if he has to sit out 2005 too, so be it. Even if he never pitches an inning for us, we can take solace in the fact that we didn’t destroy his career by being all devil-may-care and allowing him to throw a baseball.”

Even George Steinbrenner gave his blessing to the decision. He was reportedly deeply concerned about Brown’s health and didn’t want to take any unnecessary risk.

“Prudence, good judgment, and moderation are all cornerstones of the Yankee organization,” said Steinbrenner, from his office in Yankee stadium. “We didn’t become the most successful franchise in sports history by being impulsive and thinking only of today. We have patience, and we know that winning isn’t everything. It’s not all about instant gratification or ‘win win win’. Sometimes, you just have to do the right thing. And if that means sitting one of our biggest off-season acquisitions down for an entire season and crippling our chances to win the division, then so be it. By the way, John Henry is an fucking asshole.”

The Yankees are expecting fierce competition in the American League East this year, with the Red Sox, Orioles, and Blue Jays all fielding vastly improved teams. The fact that they’re willing to play without one of their star pitchers is a testament to their commitment to the future. With so many teams scrambling to stockpile all-stars, its refreshing to see a franchise that values good judgment and foresight over won-loss records.

“Look, we all want to win, but there’s a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things,” said Brian Cashman. “We can do without Kevin for a year if it means prolonging his career. We’ve got a promising young lefty down at Columbus who we’re going to plug into Kev’s place in the rotation. Sure, he may not win immediately and get us another World Series, but the experience he gets will assist greatly in the maturation process and give us a solid starter in years to come.”

Brown plans to spend the 2004 season resting and rehabbing his body. The Yanks training staff will advise and assist him with his weight-training program, but the threat of exercise-related injury will keep them from laying it on too thick. The general philosophy with regards to the rehab program is similar to that of pitching: You can never be too careful.

“We don’t want to push him too hard with the rehabbing and such,” said Cashman. “We know the risk of injury from exercising is just as high as risk of injury from pitching. So we’re going to be frugal here and make sure we have the right balance of working and resting. It’s a fine line, really.”

“Basically, I’m going to spend most of my time masturbating and eating cheese doodles,” Brown told reporters, when asked about his rehab plans. “Sure, I’ll do a little light throwing on the side, and maybe even lift a couple weights, but I’m not about to risk injury while sitting out a season for fear of injury. That would be stupid.”

Echoing Brown’s sentiment, Yankee officials admitted that they would look “pretty stupid” if their biggest acquisition of the year went down with an injury, and the image conscious team has no intention of being the laughingstock of the league.

“People called us nuts for getting that guy in the first place,” said Steinbrenner. “They said he was injury prone and that he would never even make it through the season. Well, now who’s laughing? We’ve got the guy sitting out the year, so he won’t be having any injury problems in 2004, that’s for sure. And if he does, it will be through no fault of our own. We feel like we have a good enough team to compete without Kevin, so we’re not losing any sleep over it. Oh, and you can tell John Henry to blow me.”