NEW YORK--MLB Commissioner Bud Selig today called for restrictions on the craziness of celebratory handshakes. Selig said the handshakes were “cute at first” but are now “super annoying.” “We are going to need to crack down on all these whacky, elaborately choreographed handshakes,” Selig told Dan Patrick on Wednesday. “They are really getting out of hand. At first it was kind of funny, then it started to get really silly,and now it’s super annoying and really lame. If your handshake takes more than 30 seconds and involves actual synchronized dance routines, you know it’s officially jumped the shark. Get some new material, dipshits.” Selig has proposed limiting all handshakes to a maximum of 20 seconds and forbidding the inclusion of any sort of gay footwork.