Gunther Cunningham Asked To Play Cornerback For Chiefs

KANSAS CITY, MO--Gunther Cunningham is being hailed as the man who’s going to save the Chiefs’ defense. But if he’s going to save it, he may have to do it on the field instead of on the sidelines. Since the team’s front office has done very little to upgrade the defensive roster, Cunningham has been asked by Dick Vermeil to play cornerback this year.

“Well, we brought Gunther in here to provide the defense with a little spark,” said Vermeil. “As an alternative to replacing the players, we brought in the exact same roster and hired a new defensive coordinator. Those cornerbacks we had last year didn’t work out too well, so we might as well get our money’s worth with Gunther. We’d like him to play corner. See? Now you understand why I’m crying all the time.”

This is Cunningham’s second stint with the Kansas City Chiefs. He was the head coach of the team in 1999 and 2000, but was fired and replaced by Vermeil. He has always been known as a good defensive mind, however, which is why the Chiefs brought him back. Some critics have said Cunningham would be a bad choice for corner, but others say that the team could do a lot worse.

“Having a 58-year-old guy playing corner is a little risky, but their options are pretty limited,” said Sports Illustrated’s Peter King. “It would’ve been nice if the GM went out and got some actual players, but I guess they thought last year’s squad was just fine. Their only significant addition was Cunningham, so it stands to reason that he should plug the whole at corner. Then maybe they could make [cornerback] Eric Warfield the defensive coordinator. He’d make a huge impact just by staying off the field.”

General Manager Carl Peterson noted that Cunningham was brought to the team as a defensive coordinator, but said he wouldn’t rule out using him in other capacities. It is believed by many in the Chiefs organization that Cunningham can have a bigger impact on the field than in the coach’s booth.

“Getting a new defensive coordinator is all well and good, but with the squad we had last year, we were hoping for more of an overhaul,” said one team source. “I don’t think [Cunningham] can magically transform this ragtag group into contenders just by implementing a new scheme. If he really wants to help this team, he better suit up and work on his coverage skills.”

There has been some talk of putting the new coach on the defensive line, another position where the Chiefs struggled last year. However, since Cunningham is undersized, he will mostly likely be used in the secondary.

“Gunther probably wouldn’t fare too well down there in trenches, given his size and age,” said Vermeil. “If we could just get someone down there who could get pressure on the quarterback, it will certainly make his job easier defending the pass. The guys we had last year needed a goddamn written invitation from the opposing quarterback to venture into the backfield. Thank God those guys are gone. Oh, wait a minute...they’re still here.”

If Cunningham is unable or unwilling to take the field as a player, the Chiefs may have to resort to plan B. Plan B involves removing certain players from the defensive unit and simply not replacing them. It would leave the team short-staffed, but Peterson hinted that the Chiefs may be willing to take that chance.

“It’s a toss up I guess,” said Peterson. “On the one hand, it certainly helps to have the same amount of players on defense that your opponent has on offense. On the other hand, our guys probably did more to help the other team win than the opposing quarterback. If we lose Warfield and McCleon, we might stand a better chance of stopping the opponent’s passing game. It’ll certainly cut down on pass interference penalties. Plus, it's possible that the receivers could see so much daylight ahead of them that they get distracted and drop the pass. Either way our defense is pretty much fucked.”

Cunningham has been quick to point out that he’s no miracle worker. He knows better than anyone that one player or coach cannot turn a team around.

“We want to take this one step at a time. It’s not going to happen overnight,” said Cunningham. “The first thing we need to do is implement a revolutionary technique known as ‘tackling.’ After that, we’ll teach remedial running and jumping. Then we’ll get into reading schemes and coverage patterns. And finally, we’ll learn the proper technique and timing for rushing the passer. We should be ready to go in about ten years.”

If anyone on the defensive roster is threatened by Cunningham’s arrival, they’re not showing it. One incumbent cornerback, William Bartee, said he welcomes the change in coaches and looks forward to a productive 2004.

“We’re all thrilled to have Coach Cunningham on board,” said Bartee. “We all know the defense didn’t live up to its potential last year, so it’ll be nice to have someone with a fresh perspective come in and shake things up. I’m sure now that he’s here, I’ll magically become faster, more athletic, smarter, and stronger. We all will. That’s what hiring new coordinators will do for you.”