GREEN BAY--Just hours after legendary quarterback Brett Favre retired, the Green Bay Packers made a move that could shift the balance of power in the NFC. Late Tuesday, they sent two first round draft picks and promising young tailback Ryan Grant to the New England Patriots for receiver Randy Moss.

According to GM Ted Thompson, the move was made to satisfy new quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who felt that Moss could help ease his transition to the starting position.

“Aaron told us that if he was going to be the starting quarterback he would need someone like Randy Moss to help him out,” said Thompson. “So naturally we jumped at the chance to get him. The fact that he has already been signed to a new contract just makes it easier for us. Was the price a little too high? Maybe, but we think it’s worth it to make Aaron happy. A happy quarterback is a productive quarterback. That’s my credo.”

Thompson believes that with the right weapons, Rodgers can be a top notch quarterback in this league.

“The kid has talent to burn,” he said. “We’ve been watching him in practice for years. Now that he’s getting his chance to shine I think he’s going to impress a lot of people. It certainly helps to have a guy in Moss who can stretch the field for you. That changes the whole offense. Now all we need is a running back to replace Ryan. Thankfully, any retard can play running back.”

As for Rodgers, he finally has the big weapon he’s been hoping for and he has nothing but praise for Thompson.

“Well I got what I wanted,” said Rodgers. “I got Randy Moss. The Randy Moss. Can you believe it? I just have to give all the credit in the world to Ted. He went out there and got the player we needed to put us over the top. I can't imagine how I would have felt if he ignored my pleas. My God, what a slap in the face that would be. I wouldn't even be able to show my face in public again.”

Rodgers also had some kind words for the departed Favre, whom he referred to as his “mentor.”

“Brett has been like a mentor and a big brother to me,” he said. “I think, more than anyone, he would be excited by this move. I know he bleeds yellow and green and this has got to have him smiling. When me and Randy connect for that first touchdown, I’m going to dedicate it to the Brett-ster. I'm sure it will remind him of the days when he used to hurl touchdown passes to Jerry Rice.”

Many on the Packers were shocked by the trade, especially since Favre has been pleading with management to acquire Moss for the past couple of years.

“Wow, I’m stunned,” said offensive lineman Chad Clifton. “I just can’t believe they went out and got the guy right after Brett retired. Hopefully he doesn’t become a locker room cancer or anything because we don’t have the kind of leadership to deal with that. Maybe just the memory of the great Brett Favre will be enough to keep him in line.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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