Paparazzi Stalks Diana Taurasi Just To Be Nice

PHOENIX, AZ--With the popularity of the WNBA sagging, the league’s players aren’t exactly in high demand by the tabloids and sporting press. Even its biggest star, Diana Taurasi, is a relative unknown compared to her peers in the mega-popular NBA. But that hasn’t stopped the paparazzi from relentlessly stalking the former Uconn star, if only because they feel sorry for her and wish to be nice.

“I’ve been following Diana around since she was drafted by the Phoenix Suns or Mercury or whatever,” said Ralph Jamison, 52, a free lance photographer. “She seems like a nice girl. It’s wrong that she’s being ignored like she is. I know the WNBA is kind of a joke, but as a member of the paparazzi, I feel it’s my duty to stalk her anyway. I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Jamison has been following Taurasi to and from practice every day, and has even resorted to crouching in the shrubs of her home in Scottsdale. The work is tedious and difficult, but he continues performing it out of charity towards Taurasi and the fledgling league.

“Nobody cares about these players, but sometimes you’ve just got to be nice to people,” said Jamison. “Crouching in these shrubs is a labor of love. It may not mean much to anyone, but I know when I die, God will reward me for it. I just wish the tabloids would reward me for it now.”

Jamison is not the only member of the paparazzi to stalk Taurasi. Several cameraman can be seen following the WNBA star wherever she goes, snapping pictures and shouting her name. The gracious Taurasi always stops to chat and pose for pictures.

“She’s such a sweetheart. She’s very polite and engaging, and never shouts at us,” said Barry Mathewson, photographer for the National Enquirer. “We all just feel so bad that nobody gives two shits about the WNBA. I’m sure that she expected a large contingent of photographers to swarm her when she came to the league, so we didn’t want to let her down. Oh shit..here she comes. Miss Taurasi! Miss Taurasi! One moment of your time…please! Miss Taurasi!”

Taurasi takes all of the attention in stride. The humble, personable star understands that fame goes hand in hand with being a member of the hugely popular WNBA.

“Oh, you know, I just take it all in stride,” she said, smiling graciously. “When you’re in this league, everyone wants a piece of you, and you just try to please as many people as possible. I know a lot of people hate the paparazzi, but they’re just doing their job. If they feel the need to crouch in my bushes, that’s cool. They can even come in my house if they want. I’ll leave the door open.”

Her teammates have admitted to being envious of the attention Taurasi is receiving. However, they understand that it’s all for the good of the league.

“She really is quite the celebrity,” said Penny Taylor, third-year forward from Australia. “Its amazing. Everywhere she goes, they follow her around. They’re always shouting out her name and looking for pictures. Its amazing that she’s so patient with them. That’s just a testament to her grace. She’s a lot like Jackie-O.”

Members of the paparazzi who have chosen to follow Diana around do so in shifts. For example, one group will be assigned to accompany her to practice, one will accompany her on social events, and one will wait outside her home. The shifts allow the photographers to pursue their regular duties while helping Miss Taurasi.

“Today I’m headed to some banquet for WNBA rookies,” said Mathewson. “Me and a few of the others will go and meet her there. She’s going to be all decked out in an evening gown and looking all pretty, and it would be kind of mean if nobody was there to fawn over her. We’re gonna snap a bunch of pictures and scream out her name, just like we would do for an actual NBA player, like Kobe Bryant. The only difference is, with Kobe we would actually put film in the camera.”

As a kind gesture to Diana, Mathewson said he is prepared to get in her way so that she trips over him, causing a scene that would give the impression that the paparazzi is out of control.

“I was thinking it would be a nice thing to do, especially at this banquet where a lot of folks will be watching,” said Mathewson. “I could just step out in front of her or something. Then she could bump into me and I’d drop my camera just for effect. Then everyone would say ‘Diana Taurasi is being stalked by the paparazzi. Those bastards won’t leave her alone. She just wants to live her life!’ You know, like Princess Di or something. I better bring a fake camera, though, just in case I damage it.”

With the paparazzi relentlessly pursuing her, Taurasi is growing accustomed to life in the glare of the spotlight. She insisted that it doesn’t bother her, although there are days when it can be a little too much.

“Oh, I’m fine with it. Like I said, when you’re in the WNBA, it’s too be expected,” she said. “I wouldn’t have signed up for this if I wasn’t prepared to have every aspect of my life under public scrutiny. It's tough sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I just hope they don’t start spreading rumors in the tabloid about who I’m dating and whatnot. That would be crossing a line. I’m a WNBA basketball player. This is who I am. Does anyone care?”