Curt Schilling Won’t Stop Raising Hand At End Of Team Meeting

BOSTON--Teammates rolled their eyes and stared at the clock for what seemed like an eternity Tuesday morning as Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling prolonged a team meeting with his incessant questions and comments. The meeting, which should have ended at 1 PM, carried on for an extra 20 minutes.

Manager Terry Francona later praised Schilling for his “knowledge of the game.”

“That’s Schill for you. He really knows the game and is constantly looking to learn more,” he said. “He’s like that kid in school who keeps raising his hand even though the teacher is trying to dismiss the class. I knew a lot of kids like that, and hated every one of them. Funny, isn’t it? I actually like Curt. At least he doesn’t have an acne problem and a cracking voice.”

Francona admitted to being annoyed by Schilling on occasion, but said he’d rather have a player who was too attentive in meetings than not attentive enough.

“Yea sometimes he can be overbearing but that’s better than the other extreme,” he said. “Some guys sleep through meetings. That can get really irritating. Thankfully Curt always points them out to me by raising his hand and saying ‘Hey, Tito. Check out so and so. Looks like we’re keeping him up.’ And then everyone has a good laugh at that player’s expense and then Curt raises his hand again and seriously recommends that the offender stay late and get filled in by the coaching staff. Then he leads the team in a rendition of ‘God Bless America,’ and the meeting is over.”

Schilling was in rare form Tuesday morning, according to teammates. He delayed the end of the meeting a record six times before Francona finally intervened.

“I have something,” Schilling volunteered after Francona asked if there were any questions before he let the team go. “I just wanted to know if we were going to discuss our next foe’s tendency to be aggressive and swing really early in the count. If you look at the numbers, there’s a definite trend there. I thought it might be something that would interest our pitching staff and defense.”

“That’s a great point, Curt. We should address that right now,” Francona responded. He then turned his laptop back on and looked up team batting statistics for the Devil Rays. After a detailed 15 minute analysis, he once again asked if there were any more questions.

Schilling raised his hand.

“Yes, Curt. Did you have something?”

“Actually, yes, before we go I just wanted to know if we were planning on doing some extra defensive drills at some point. We have a day off scheduled a week from today. That might be a good time.”

“Good thinking!” Francona replied. “I actually didn’t even think of that. Next Monday would be a perfect day for us to come in and get some extra work done. The whole team should come in, too, not just infielders. We can make a day of it. That’s a great suggestion, Curt. Anyone have anything else? I’m just about ready to go.”

“I’m still really not clear on one thing,” responded Schilling, his teammates groaning in despair. “Can you just go over once again what you expect from us pitchers on days we’re not pitching, as far as time of arrival, side sessions, and a weight lifting program? I’m just a little…”

“Curt,” Francona interrupted. “Why don’t we let everyone go and talk about this in my office, OK? Guys, you’re all dismissed. For real this time.”

The next day, Schilling’s teammates spoke of his dedication with a mixture of praise and ridicule.

“Hey, it’s admirable that the guy is so into it,” said DH David Ortiz. “My man Curt is more committed to this team than anyone, but he just talks too much in those meetings. I don’t want to say anything to him about it, though. He’ll end up calling one of those players-only meetings. He lives for those, too. We already have one scheduled for tomorrow over our lack of focus in the dugout between innings. Better bring the Gameboy to that one.”

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