AKRON, OH--Blog commenter LJ2005 has been leaving insightful, witty comments on various blogs since 2005, and now his hard work appears to be paying off, as the legendary commenter has just signed a book deal. The untitled book, to be released in March, will be a compilation of LJ2005’s best comments.

The 35-year-old from Akron, Ohio, says signing the book deal is “a dream come true.”

“It’s just a dream come true to be a published author,” said LJ2005. “I’m so proud of the work I’ve done commenting on blogs the past few years. I really think I’ve elevated it to an art form. When I first started doing this, hardly anyone even commented on blogs. Now, every post on Fanhouse or Deadspin or whatever has, like, a hundred comments. I like to think I had a hand in that.”

LJ2005 said the process of putting the book together allowed him to track his progression from “a punk kid with a laptop” to a titan of the blog commenting community.

“Just going through some of my old comments has been a blast,” he said. “It’s hard to believe just three years ago I was writing ‘Browns rule! Broncos r goin down dickheads. They r homos!!!!’ I mean, look at all those exclamation points. One would have sufficed. But the funny thing is that underneath the crudity and the juvenile anger, there’s real insight. As I recall, the Broncos did lose that game. And as anyone who followed the team that year knows, they were a bunch of homos.”

In contrast, LJ2005’s later comments were intelligent, concise, witty, and quite often, controversial.

“I didn’t really worry about being politically correct,” he said. “If I had an opinion, you were going to read about it. Like the time I took Terrell Owens to task for holding out for a new deal. Was I worried about hurting his feelings? Was I worried about pissing him off? No, a good blog commenter must be fearless. That’s why I called him ‘a pariah’ and said his agent was a ‘money-grubbing jerk.’ Yea, I ruffled a few feathers with that one, but somebody had to say what needed to be said.”

In 2008, LJ2005 penned what he considered to be his crowning achievement: a 5,000 word comment about the Vick dog-fighting scandal in response to a post on AOL’s Fanhouse.

“I was inspired with that one,” he said. “I remember I was sitting in my room, furiously typing onto my laptop, the words pouring from my fingers like molten lava. I took Vick to task for abusing those animals. I took the authorities to task for turning a blind eye. I railed against the league for not coming down on him swiftly enough. I even blamed the dogs for failing to take accountability for their actions. When I was done, I sat back in my chair, caught my breath, and read what I had written. I knew at that point that I had done something historic. Nothing was the same for me after that.”

It was only a few months later when he received an email from a Random House editor offering him a book deal.

“I had heard about LJ2005 from a couple of colleagues and decided to check him out,” said the editor, Kate Hamill. “I was impressed with his cutting, high minded commentary, his descriptive writing style and his knack for seizing on the hot-button topics of the day. Also, we had an extra $1500 in the budget and figured this would be better than buying another TV for the break room.”

Copyright 2008, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.