MESA, AZ--In response to the recent gun incident in an NBA locker room, Major League Baseball has decided to ban firearms and explosives from its own clubhouses. However, the ban, which was instituted on Friday, does not specifically mention flamethrowers, says Cubs starting pitcher Carlos Zambrano. “See, if you read the rule carefully, it says ‘firearms and explosives are prohibited,’” said Zambrano. “But it doesn’t specifically say ‘flamethrowers.’ Flamethrowers aren’t really firearms. Guns are firearms - pistols, automatic weapons, machine guns, stuff like that. But flamethrowers are just devices that emit flame for whatever purpose. I just wanted to point that out to everyone, just in case I…well, just in case it ever comes up.” In response to Zambrano’s statement, MLB quickly changed the wording of the rule to include “any device that can be used to destroy an entire clubhouse during a temper tantrum.”