Bills Receiver To Wear Opposing Uniform In Effort To Catch More Passes

ORCHARD PARK, NY--In an effort to cut down on Drew Bledsoe’s interceptions and catch more passes himself, Buffalo Bills wide receiver Eric Moulds will don the uniform of the opposing team next Sunday. The move is expected to increase offensive production until backup quarterback J.P. Losman is able to take over the starting job.

“We’ve tried everything to reduce the number of picks, but it’s just not happening,” said offensive coordinator Tom Clements. “Drew is just at the stage of his career where he’s throwing the ball to the defender more often than his own receivers. So we devised this plan. This week Eric will be wearing the uniform of the New York Jets, virtually assuring him several catches. Oh, and don’t tell Drew, OK? It might cause him to lose some of his confidence, which, shockingly, he still has.”

The idea for the new strategy came directly from Moulds, who has seen a steady decline in catches since Bledsoe took his place behind center in 2002. A strong receiver with great hands, Moulds has grown tired of Bledsoe’s erratic throws and poor decision making. The uniform change represents a last resort for a player that has tried everything.

“I’m so sick of opposing defensive backs getting more receptions than me every Sunday,” Moulds said after practice Thursday. “It’s not fair. All they have to do is stand there with their arms up and the ball hits them in the chest. Just two weeks ago one of the Ravens cornerbacks actually got a ball thrown right at his head. It got jammed in his facemask and he ran all the way to the end zone without even using his hands. Then Drew ran up to him and hugged him. I was like ‘Hey, that guy’s not on our team.’”

By wearing the opponent’s uniform, Moulds will also be able to avoid running routes and blocking.

“It definitely makes life easier for me,” he said. “What a waste of time it is to run around like an idiot making all these crazy moves when the ball is just going to end up in the wrong person’s hands. It’s not worth the trouble. And blocking? No thanks. I’m going to do what the defense does--hang out in the middle of the field whistling nonchalantly until a ball strikes me in the chest.”

Since his injury in 2001, Bledsoe’s career has been on the downturn. He was benched by the Patriots in favor of Tom Brady and eventually traded to Buffalo, where he was expected to elevate the franchise to Superbowl contention. Unfortunately, Bledsoe’s skills have eroded and he is widely regarded as one of the NFL’s worst quarterbacks. Even GM Tom Donohoe admitted the Bledsoe move was a mistake.

“Boy did I feel like a big man when I pulled off that Bledsoe deal. I was walking around like the king of the world,” said Donohoe, who drafted JP Losman to be the Bills quarterback of the future. “Everyone was saying what coup it was, to get one of the NFL’s best quarterbacks from a division rival, but clearly they were wrong. I guess I should’ve just listened to my mom, Grace, who told me that Drew was just a washed-up cocksucker.”

The move to change the receiver’s uniform was approved by Donohoe and head coach Mike Mularkey, who has tried everything in his power to get Bledsoe back on track.

“It may seem unorthodox but I’m at my wit’s end here,” said Mularkey who was considered one of the brightest offensive minds in the league before coming to Buffalo. “I’ve tried all kinds of blocking schemes. I’ve tried shorter passes. I’ve tried everything. I even tried hypnotizing the guy, but that just made things worse. So I hypnotized myself instead. I feel much better now.”

While he was offensive coordinator for the Steelers, Mularkey was known to experiment with trick plays. Though he never tried anything like this, Mularkey is looking forward to the challenge.

“Oh, I did some pretty crazy stuff when I was in Pittsburgh. We practiced trick plays every week. It was a very important weapon for us,” he said. “This is sort of an extension of that. My only concern is that the league will intervene and put a stop to it. If that happens, well, I’m out of ideas. Maybe I’ll demote myself to line coach.”

Another concern for the Bills is that the change will not be enough. The uniform switch is sure to increase Moulds’chance of catching passes but there are also defensive backs to worry about. Moulds may have to do a little more than simply stand around and wait for the ball.

“I may have to become a defensive back myself,” he said. “Just because I’ll be wearing a Jets uniform doesn’t mean the ball is coming to me every time. There are actual Jets players on the field, too. So I may have to drop back into coverage if I see Drew eyeing one of their guys. I may even have try to intercept passes meant for defenders. Then everyone will think the Jets made the pick and I can dramatically pull my helmet off and reveal that I am actually Eric Moulds. It does seem like a lot of trouble to go through to catch a pass, though.”