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President Pardons Case Of Beer In Annual Super Bowl Tradition

February 2, 2010           
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WASHINGTON, DC—In an annual Super Bowl tradition that dates back to the Ford administration, President Barack Obama pardoned a case of beer on the White House Lawn, sending it on a trip to Disneyland where it will avoid being consumed by the nation’s football fans. “Case of beer, I hereby pardon you with the authority granted me, the President of the United States," the President began. "Long may you live, but not too long, lest you become skunked and undrinkable. As for your fellow cases of beer, I suspect they won’t survive past the pre-game show. So consider yourself lucky.” Republicans called the pardon “yet another Washington bailout” and lamented that struggling Americans will have 30 fewer beers to pound this weekend.

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