August 3 , 2009

   The Brushback 2009 AFC Preview

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AFC East
New York Jets 

                                                          
Strength:                                                        
Rex Ryan is bringing a swagger to this team that was missing during the Eric Mangini era. Of course, the Eric Mangini era was going just fine until Brett Favre’s arm fell off. But let’s all pretend their problem was lack of swagger.

Weakness:
Thomas Jones is not happy this year. Will this affect his performance on the field? Probably, but running backs are a dime a dozen, which is one of the reasons he’s unhappy.

Question Mark:
A Week 2 matchup vs. the Patriots will give Ryan the chance to prove once and for all that he’s not afraid to be impolite to Bill Belichick.

 Miami Dolphins     

Strength:
Pennington had his best season last year but he’s still looking over his shoulder at Chad Henne. However, in a year or so Henne’s the one that’s going to be looking over his shoulder at Pennington. Then we’ll see who's laughing.

Weakness:
Channing Crowder engaged in a war of words with Rex Ryan. Wow, Ryan is even changing the culture in the Dolphins locker room. Is there anything this guy can’t do?

Question mark:
Can the Dolphins continue to progress after last year’s surprise? The answer will come at the end of the season, when we can see their won-loss record.

New England Patriots

Strength:
Fred Taylor has lost a few steps and it’s unlikely that the Patriots will get much out of him this year. Still, just having him in the locker room should add another player to the roster.

Weakness:
The Patriots keep losing coaches and you wonder when it's going to have an effect. Some guy named Bill O’Brien is calling plays on offense this year, which means next year he’ll be the head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Question Mark:
Seymour and Wilfork are both free agents at the end of the year. The Patriots have some decisions to make, like how exactly to tell them they’re not getting resigned. I suggest Twitter.

Buffalo Bills   

Strength:
Aaron Maybin is a bit small but he has a great first step. His second step is terrible, but if he can get to the QB in one step he’s all set.

Weakness:
It says here that Trent Edwards’ favorite target this year will be a guy named Eric Green. It's just too bad that Green is a cornerback for the Dolphins.

Question Mark:
The Bills will be playing football deep into January, as soon as the league adds those two extra games onto the regular season.

AFC West
Kansas City Chiefs

Strength:
Um... 

Weakness:
Tyler Thigpen proved he can be a starting QB last season and all he got for it was a seat on the bench. Now he just has to pray Matt Cassell gets injured. He shouldn’t do it in public, though. Stuff like that can be misinterpreted by your teammates.

Question Mark:
The linebacking corps for this team is so bad that they brought in Zach Thomas to bolster it. You don’t bring Zach Thomas in to bolster your linebacking corps. You bring him in to coach it.

 Oakland Raiders     

Strength:
Things are going great for JaMarcus Russell. He got a bunch of guaranteed money and it’s looking like he won’t have to endure the years of physical abuse to earn it.

Weakness:
The Raiders have a tough schedule this year. They have 16 games against teams that are better than them.

Question mark:
This could be the first football team to tank for a higher draft pick. It shouldn’t be too hard. They just have to put all the starters on the field and have them play to the best of their abilities.

San Diego Chargers

Strength:
All the big names are returning for the Chargers this season, which means we should expect them to go 9-7 and miss the playoffs.

Weakness:
LaDainian Tomlinson is one injury away from doing what everybody expects him to do: get injured.

Question Mark:
The return of Shawne Merriman should electrify his teammates and the city of San Diego. If he gets hurt again, it will do the same thing for the rest of the country.

Denver Broncos     

Strength:
Brian Dawkins was brought in to shore up the Broncos pass defense, but his main contribution will be stalking up and down the bench shouting words of encouragement to his disinterested teammates.

Weakness:
Josh McDaniels pissed a lot of people off by trading Jay Cutler. He could have spun the whole thing in his favor, however, by insisting that Cutler was involved in a point shaving scandal to support his drug habit.

Question Mark:
Robert Ayers is the kind of player who can step in and contribute right away. But I suggest he wait, as contributing right away will alienate the rest of the losers on theddefense.

AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals  

Strength:
Carson Palmer returns to the Bengals this year looking to pick up where he left off before his injury. Actually he’ll probably want to aim a little higher than that.

Weakness:
This Bengals defense has no identity, which is actually better than the identity it usually has, so they should enjoy this while it lasts.

Question Mark:
Owner Mike Brown seems bent on winning a Super Bowl on his terms or not at all. There’s a great chance of one of those things happening, so either way he should be vindicated.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Strength:
Mike Tomlin’s greatest strength is his willingness to delegate. Last year he was content to let his assistants do all the work. A lesser coach might have tried to micromanage by, you know, coaching the team.

Weakness:
This team doesn’t really have any weaknesses. The only thing they have to guard against is complacency, but that shouldn't be a problem because once they read this they’ll remember not to get complacent.

Question Mark:
The Steelers running woes last year could be blamed on Willie Parker’s injury, which caused him to miss only five games instead of the entire season.

Cleveland Browns

Strength:
The strength of this team is Sam Bradford, the franchise quarterback they’re going to draft with the number one pick next year.

Weakness:
The defense will have to find a way to stop the run without putting eight men in the box. I suggest putting nine men in the box.

Question Mark:
The Browns should do extra up-downs in practice so they can learn how to pop back up quicker when they fall down. This can only help, as getting up slowly gives the opponent more time to spit on them.

Baltimore Ravens

Strength:
Ray Lewis played the field a bit in free agency before finally settling on a deal with the Ravens. It goes to show you that the ties that bind Lewis to Baltimore are strong, especially when nobody else wants to talk to him.

Weakness:
Le’Ron McClain ran for a lot of yards last year, but this year he'll be relegated to lead blocking duties. That's good news for McClain, who just wants to destroy his body without all the fame and accolades.

Question Mark:
Ray Rice will challenge Willis McGahee for the starting running back position this year. This is an intriguing battle as McGahee is washed up and Rice is too small. Who will come out on top? Probably opposing defenses.

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts

Strength:
Without that miserable weirdo Marvin Harrison around, the Colts will probably be looser and more relaxed. The downside is they won’t be able to play that fun game where they try to make him laugh and bet on who he punches first.

Weakness:
Actually, don't tell him I said that.

Question Mark:
Lineman Cornelius Lewis could be the most improved player this year. Last year he was in college, so simply playing in the NFL at all would be a huge improvement.

Houston Texans

Strength:
If Matt Schaub wants to stay healthy he needs to get better in the pocket. For instance, he needs to have an internal clock telling him to fall down as soon as the ball is snapped.

Weakness:
The Texans have missed the playoffs for seven consecutive seasons, but missing them again this season is unacceptable. They’re still going to do it though. It just won’t be acceptable.

Question Mark:
Arian Foster may turn out to be a fantasy sleeper if he gets more yards and touchdowns than people expect of him.

Jacksonville Jaguars

Strength:
The Jags have revamped their offensive line, which should provide David Garrard with more time to throw the football. This should help the team dramatically because he’ll be out of excuses and they can cut him.

Weakness:
The Jags brought in Torry Holt in the off-season to enhance their receiving corps. I’ll just leave it at that.

Question Mark:
Maurice-Jones Drew is set to have a monster year. He’ll probably be the lone bright spot for this team, unless you count the bright spots David Garrard will be seeing while he’s laying on the turf.

Tennessee Titans

Strength:
The Titans have a weak passing game and a strong running game. They’ll try to correct this imbalance by handing it to LenDale White more often.

Weakness:
The Titans were undefeated for much of last season but then failed to make the conference championship. This goes to show you that anything can happen in the playoffs, except good officiating.

Question mark:
Chris Mortenson’s son was signed as a free agent. He says he’s a quarterback, but we should probably take that with a grain of salt.

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