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LOS ANGELES--Saturday’s shocking victory over USC was bittersweet for Stanford quarterback Tavita Pritchard, who was proud of his team for winning, but disappointed in losing $500 on the game. Pritchard made the bet on Friday, positive that USC could cover the 41 point spread against 1-4 Cardinals.

“Holy shit, did we actually win that game?” said Pritchard on Sunday. “I thought I’d wake up this morning and find out it was all a dream. Un-fucking-believable. This is probably the highlight of my career. I guess the one negative thing I could say about it is that I lost five hundred bucks on the game. I was sure USC would cover that point spread. I thought it was going to be like 63-0 or something. Oh well, who are we playing next week? That’s bound to be a big letdown game.”

Pritchard insisted that his bet did not affect the way he played the game.

“Just because I made the bet doesn’t mean I was going to try to lose,” he said. “I would never do that to my teammates. I was simply trying to take advantage of a situation where I believed the outcome was predetermined. I just kept playing the game as best I could, waiting patiently for me to do something stupid and throw it all away, but I hung in there. Go figure. It just goes to show you that a home dog is still the best bet in sports.”

Pritchard paid off his bookie, Jerry, first thing Monday morning. He was the recipient of some good-natured taunting after telling Jerry that the bet was “a lock” on Friday.

“Yea, Jerry was like ‘A lock, huh? I guess maybe Stanford wasn’t the pushover you thought they’d be.’ And I was like ‘Yea, yea, give me a break. A lot of people didn’t see this coming.’ And I was right, of course. What kind of loser team can’t cover a 41 point spread against a bunch of chumps like us? Nice four interceptions, Josh David Booty. Maybe Bill Simmons will add something to his ‘betting guide’ about QB’s with three names being ineffective against hapless Pac-10 teams.”

When coach Jim Harbaugh learned that his quarterback bet against his own team, he was “disappointed.” However, he said his team is fueled by doubters and he hopes more people underestimate them in the future.

“You never want to hear that your own guys are betting against your team,” Harbaugh said. “That shows a lack of confidence as well as a lack of class. But you know, people are always underestimating us, and that just fuels us even more.The only people we care about are the guys in that locker room – the ones who aren’t betting against us. The ones who are, well, keep doubting us. Keep doubting yourselves. You’ll eventually prove yourselves wrong and then you’ll have the last laugh…I guess. None of this makes any sense to me actually.”

Pritchard indicated that he would continue betting against the Cardinals until they could prove that the USC upset was no fluke.

“I can’t say I’m totally sold on us yet,” he said. “We’ve made some strides but it’s still only one game. I’d still definitely lay the points with a Top 10 team against us. Remember, Stanford has a young, inexperienced quarterback who really hasn’t proven himself yet. I certainly wouldn’t put all my eggs in that basket, not when there’s money on the line.”

Copyright 2007, The Brushback - Do not reprint without permission. This article is satire and is not intended as actual news.

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Stanford Quarterback Out Five Hundred Bucks After Win Against USC

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