Strength:
Luke McCown is both the strength and the weakness of this team, because he's the only one I've ever heard of.

Weakness:
McCown played in two games last year and threw one pass, which fell incomplete. That’s too bad, because he had a bonus incentive in his contract that would have awarded him a million dollars for completing a pass.

Question Mark:
The Bucs greatest strength is their resilience. The very fact that they keep going as a franchise in the face of all logic is a true inspiration.

Strength:
DeAngelo Williams is going to put up some big fantasy numbers this year, but players who are all about stats are a detriment to the team, so they should cut him before he poisons everything.

Weakness:
Jake Delhomme threw five picks in a playoff loss to the Cards last year, but you can’t place all the blame on the QB. Some of the blame has to be placed on opposing defenders, who contributed by pulling the footballs out of their facemasks.

Question mark:
The Panthers brought in several undrafted free agents in the offseason. It’ll be hard for these guys to make an impact, but at least they’ll have some neat stories to tell the guys at the real estate office.

Strength:
Peria Jerry was brought in to help solve the Falcons rush defense woes. Last year they were so bad at stopping the run that they had to put 12 men on the field just so they would only give up 5 yards at a time.

Weakness:
After a breakthrough season in 2008, the Falcons won’t be able to sneak up on anybody this year. They will in 2010, though, after they finish 4-12 this season.

Question Mark:
Will Matt Ryan become complacent after winning the Breakthrough Athlete of the Year ESPY? That’s the question dogging the Falcons heading into the new season.

Strength:
Reggie Bush is one of the most dangerous players in the league when he gets into the open field, as evidenced by the two times it’s happened in his career.

Weakness:
Darren Sharper has lost a step but is still capable of picking the ball off at any time. He just needs someone to tell him where it’s going and give him a head start.

Question Mark:
Can a great offense be a bad thing? No. That’s retarded. Why would you ask such a stupid question?

Strengths:
Jay Cutler threw a lot of interceptions when he was with Denver, but he could do much better in Chicago because it’s windy there and that might blow his errant passes back to the receivers.

Weakness:
The Bears replaced departed safety Mike Brown with Josh Bullocks, a guy who couldn’t even start for the Saints last year. This is a good move, as Bullocks will be eager to prove his old team was wrong to bench him for somebody better.

Question Mark:
The fact that Orlando Pace is still playing tells you one thing about the man: he lost a shitload of money in that Bernie Madoff thing.

Strengths:
Daunte Culpepper does not want to lose his job to rookie quarterback Matt Stafford. Drew Stanton would be okay, though.

Weakness:
Jim Schwartz should Twitter to the fans during halftime of the games. That way they can get a first hand glimpse at his slow descent into madness.

Question Mark:
In Week Five the Lions are playing the Steelers, unless somebody intervenes to put a stop to it.

Strength:
Nobody’s talking about the Packers right now, and that’s exactly the way they like it. They probably won't like it when nobody's talking about them at the end of the year, though.

Weakness:
Charles Woodson and Al Harris are probably on their last legs. Actually, Woodson was on his last legs in 2001. At this point he’s on Harris’ last legs.

Question Mark:
Aaron Rodgers certainly proved his doubters wrong last year, but is he destined to be a great quarterback on a bad team? No, because the Packers aren’t that bad. Also, he isn’t great.

Strength:
Percy Harvin will be featured a lot in the Wildcat formation this year. A great trick play would be to snap the ball to Tarvaris Jackson and then let him throw the ball. The defense won't know what hit them, except for the ball.

Weakness:
Chester Taylor would be a starter on pretty much any other team in the league, a fact that must really give him comfort while he's sitting on the bench next to fucking Kahlil Bell.

Question Mark:
Jackson is one of the least accurate quarterbacks in the game. In fact, 30 percent of his handoffs fell short last year.

Strength:  
The Cowboys have three quality running backs on their roster. That’s an embarrassment of riches. They’ll be less embarrassed when they pick up 1,000 yards between the three of them.   
                                  
Weakness:
If you’re drafting first in your fantasy league, the guy you might want to look at is Kevin Ogletree. He’s not very good, but his selection will make your fellow owners think you know something and they’ll freak out and forfeit all the games.

Question Marks:
Can Tony Romo stand the scrutiny of playing in Dallas? Yes, he just can’t complete passes consistently.

Strength:
Clinton Portis is coming into the season with a chip on his shoulder, or so I think. His Twitter page was just a whole bunch of gibberish with the word “chip” in the middle of it.

Weakness:
The Skins paid $45 million to D’Angelo Hall. Great signing. They say players generally have career years exactly four seasons after they were last relevant.

Question mark:
Jason Campbell’s ego may be a little bruised after those offseason trade talks, but he knows there’s only one way to salvage his pride: throw a shitload of interceptions to get back at the pricks.

Strength:
Say what you want about Eli Manning, but he managed to parlay a dropped interception and a helmet-catch into $97 million, so he must be smarter than you.

Weakness:
The loss of Steve Spagnulo will have a devastating effect on the Giants, as he was the only person in the organization who had the key to the film room.

Question Mark:
David Tyree, Super Bowl hero, is currently twelfth on the depth chart for wide receiver. The guy ahead of him is a fullback for the Redskins.

Strength:
If Brian Westbrook can stay healthy this season, he can – forget it. He just got injured again.

Weakness:
If Kevin Kolb gets a chance to start again this year, he better be more prepared than he was last time around. Otherwise he could go down as one of those great quarterbacks who never won a game.

Question Mark:
I don’t know if I would trust a guy like Jason Peters to protect Donovan McNabb. I saw him in Buffalo last season and he didn’t seem the least bit concerned with McNabb’s welfare.