New Girlfriend Weirded Out By Derek Jeter Fanpage

ANTWERP, NY--Catherine Wheeler of Antwerp, NY was reportedly “weirded out” upon discovering that her new boyfriend has his own fanpage dedicated to Yankees star Derek Jeter. The boyfriend, Carl Mellon, revealed the fanpage last Saturday during a dinner at his apartment.

“During dinner we were talking about the Internet and stuff,” explained Wheeler, 29. “I was telling him how I know nothing about computers, and he said he was really into them. He said he’s designed a few websites. When I asked him which ones, he brought me into his room and pulled up this Derek Jeter thing. I was like ‘OK. I guess he’s a big fan of Derek Jeter.’”

Wheeler’s initial reaction to the fanpage was curiosity. Knowing little about the Internet and virtually nothing about web design, she questioned Mellon about how much time he spent maintaining the site.

“As soon as he told me he spends about 10 hours a week on his Derek Jeter fanpage, I was a little freaked out. 10 hours a week? That’s a lot. I mean, how much can you possibly like Derek Jeter?”

The site, www.JeterRocks.net, has been up for close to two years and is, according to Wheeler, “pretty elaborate.” The front page features a giant close-up headshot of Jeter blowing a bubble. A caption below reads: The pulse of the Yankees! This is your one stop source for all things Derek Jeter. Images, quotes, links, trivia – we’ve got it all. Coming soon: shots of Jeter out on the town with sweetheart Lara Dutta!

“God, how much time went into this thing?” Wheeler recalls asking herself. “ I really like this guy, but I had to stop and try to visualize him sitting in front of his PC uploading facts about Derek Jeter. He even told me he was working on a message board so the ‘Derek Jeter fan community could have a place to meet and chat about all things Derek.’ Ew. Weird.”

Mellon, 32, insists there is nothing weird about the website. He says he is just a big Jeter fan who started the site as a hobby.

“The main reason for creating this site was to put my appreciation for the man into words and images,” he continued. “There are thousands of people just like me out there, and they want a one-stop place where they can get their Jeter fix. Believe me, I get tons of emails every day telling me what a great job I do. But it’s just a hobby. I’m not obsessed with the guy or anything.”

Wheeler begs to differ. After browsing the site briefly at Mellon’s house, she probed more deeply the following day at work. Among the horrors she discovered was a Derek Jeter quiz, a Derek Jeter opinion poll, details about a Jeter look- alike contest and worst of all, poems about Derek Jeter.

“Oh, God no. Oh, God no,” Wheeler thought to herself as she peeled away layer after layer of creepiness. “What have I gotten into? I clicked on this ‘Rate Derek Jeter’ thing, and you know what? It was all 10’s. That was the only option. How about that Derek Jeter look-alike contest? How obsessed can someone be? But the worst, by far, were the poems. Ugh.”

An excerpt from one of Mellon’s poems: The Yankees are down to their last out/ In the stands you can hear the fan's shouts/’Next up, number 2, Derek Jeter,’ sounds Bob Shepards's voice, powerful and deep/ For a second there is a silence; no one makes a peep, Because as Derek begins to step to the plate/ Everyone knows he holds the Yankees' fate.

“I’m not Shakespeare,” claimed Mellon. “It’s just something I came up with during the 2001 World Series. As soon as Jeter stepped to the plate and Bob Shepard’s deep, baritone voice announced his name, this electricity came over the crowd that I could feel all the way from my couch. When I saw him saunter up to the dish, I was inspired to capture the moment in a poem.”

Unfortunately for Mellon, Wheeler has already made up her mind to break off the short relationship.

“Its over,” said Wheeler. “Nothing against the guy, but this is all a little too creepy for me. I guess my ex-boyfriend’s painkiller addiction wasn’t so bad after all.”

As for Mellon, he says he has no plans to cease working on his Derek Jeter fanpage.

“It’s my pride and joy. Can’t a guy be a fan of Derek Jeter? There are worse people to build a website around. He’s so down to earth and friendly, and he always helps those less fortunate then him. And he never judges people or looks down on them for any reason – which is more than I can say for my girlfriend, Cathy Wheeler.”